Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Are you trying to make the wrong shoes fit?

Are you trying to make the wrong shoes fit?


Last week was an interesting one for me. I returned to L.A. after spending a week in Chicago, mulling over a couple of conversations I'd had with a client while I was there.
I asked him if I could share his story with you, not using his real name and details of course, as I felt there were some lessons here that would benefit my readers. He gave me his permission to do just that.

So, we'll call him Jim for the sake of this story.

Now Jim is a very fortunate man. He's fifty, fit and financially sound. He divorced eight years ago, has grown-up  kids and a couple of young nephews he loves as if they were his own. He owns his own business which he's built from the ground up, and which makes him a VERY good living. He plays golf, is passionate about cars, and takes vacations in Hawaii and the Caribbean. In short Jim lives the kind of life many of us would love to be living.

But of course something was missing. Love.

Jim needed to fill the space in his heart, so out and about he went to find a soul mate. He met women online and offline; through dating agencies and friends; through well meaning matchmakers and at professional gatherings; at the theater and even on a plane once. Jim dated some lovely women, but the problem was that none of them was PERFECT.

Jim by now was so set in his ways, that he didn't know how to make room in his life for another 'real person'--he had an image in his head, his dream woman, and none of the real, emotional, flawed HUMAN people he met, seemed to measure up to his 10 out of 10 vision of perfection.

And then he met her. Picture perfect, young, fresh, flawless. He fell hard, just like those avalanches I was talking about last week--completely, chaotically, loudly and MESSILY. Anyone caught in his path got swept away. She was the ONE. Jim moved heaven and earth to woo this delectable young lady, with the face as smooth and beautiful as a piece of fine porcelain. They started dating.

At first all went well. Jim swept her off her feet with lavish dinners, trips to the Spa, weekends away in Vegas, and even a surprise trip to Paris. He bought her gifts, jewelry and flowers every week.

At first she seemed to enjoy Jim's company as much as he did hers. They would talk intensely, laugh at each others jokes, have fun and of course make crazy 'passion.' But before too long, within a matter of only a few weeks, Jim noticed some troubling signs. She's was irritable with him, seemed distracted--bored even. She's make excuses not to see him on certain nights, and when she did, wasn't as affectionate as before.

And her demands got greater too. She was unimpressed with the one carat earrings, and under-whelmed with anything that wasn't from Prada, Channel or some equally prestigious brand name...

Jim started trying harder. More expensive gifts, more exotic trips away, a credit card with a $25,000 limit, and even a sports car. He took more time away from his business, a day here and there, and then a week, or even two. He'd go in late in the mornings, but was struggling to put his heart back in it at all...all he could think about was her, and the creeping dread that he was about to lose his dream.

He started driving by her house those evenings he wasn't with her, snooping through her pockets when he was. Jim got more desperate, she got more dismissive and disgusted with him, and the whole thing spiraled into a car wreck of a situation.

She left him of course. And Jim is still paying a heavy price. Not only did he spend tens of thousands of dollars trying to buy her affection, but he let his business go downhill too, and is now desperately trying to get back to where he was before he met her. It's going to take a long time. Lots of customers are not generous with second chances as Jim is discovering. He let himself go as well, physically, emotionally and mentally. His confidence is battered too.

Jim found out things about himself that he really didn't like: his poor judgement, his superficiality, his almost-adolescent grabbing for a girl half his age,  his innate jealousy, his willingness to sacrifice his self-respect. He learnt how fragile the whole facade of his life had been, and how easily it could collapse. These are valuable lessons indeed, but I know Jim would rather never have had to learn them. Yup, Jim squandered money, friendships, peace of mind--even success--chasing vaporware.

Jim knows now that he was wrong-headed. He was thinking with his ego, and his libido, not his heart. That he mistook yearning, for loving. He tried to make something fit that was never going to, like shoes that are way too tight but you keep wearing regardless of blisters, pain and ugly rubbing, because you think if you persevere you'll finally mould those darn shoes to fit you. Yup, Jim was trying to make the wrong shoes fit.

I wanted to share Jim's story, as it's one that as a Life Coach, I see way too often in different versions and flavors. As more and more folks get divorced a great many find themselves single and hopeful that they will get a chance to find love a second, or even third, time around. Some carry a ton of old emotional baggage, others arrive at this place, mature and confident (just like Jim), but nearly all of them arrive with unreasonable expectations. Too many end up trying to force-fit their ideals into a too-tight shoe.

I am a great believer in soul mates. I know that when you are with the right person, it may not be all sweetness and light, you might verbally tussle with each other now and again, you may disagree on lots of things, you may enjoy different past-times, and have different ambitions. You may like different foods, have different friends, spend a lot of time apart, disagree on politics, and vacations. But I also know that NONE of that matters as long as you share a deep mutual trust, respect, affection and connection; an easiness and an openness so that whenever you are together it feels just like coming home after a long, hard trip; a sense of 'safeness' born of knowing that your back is covered by your best friend; a shared, quiet delight in each other that's hard to explain, but that seeps into your bloodstream, warms your heart and that you slip on like a favorite pair of snug, soft, comfortable slippers.

If you're struggling to decide if you're in the right relationship, just ask yourself one simple question: "Am I Trying To Make The Wrong Shoes Fit?"

Are Those Boots Really Made For Walking?

It's that time of year again: boot-buying season. There are all types and styles to choose from, but finding the best-fitting boots requires some shopping legwork.

While you're deciding between a stiletto heel, kitten heel or stacked heel, think of where you will be wearing them and for how many hours each day. What might look great on the fashion runways may not be so practical when you're running to and from your 9-to-5 office job.

Are Those Boots Really Made For Walking?


"Your boots only have to last a season," said Dr. Marlene Reid, a member of the American Podiatric Medical Association. "Your feet have to last a lifetime."

Follow these tips from the APMA when you shop for your next pair of boots.

* Shop later in the day (your feet tend to swell during the day) and have your feet measured before you begin trying on boots.

* Try on the boots with the type of hosiery or socks you plan to wear with them.

* Look for boots that offer stability, preferably something with a wider heel. Heels that are less than 2 inches high are best. Skinny stilettos may look cute on the rack, but they put a lot of pressure on your feet.

* Make sure the shape of the boot is wide enough for a comfortable fit on your feet. Some boot designs can be too narrow and can cause blisters and bunions.

* Choose boots with a firm heel counter. Just because the boot fabric covers your ankle does not mean it provides proper support.

* Buy a pair of boots that feel comfortable after you have walked around the store in them. Boots should never have to be "broken in."

* Select a boot with a rubber sole and traction on the bottom to prevent slipping. Remember, most fashion boots are not made for snow.

* Consider the material. "During the winter months, the feet tend to sweat more because shoes are enclosed and people wear thick socks or hosiery," Reid said. "Selecting a boot made of leather, which absorbs moisture, over a synthetic material is a wise choice."

Thursday, July 27, 2017

A Quick Guide To Buying A Pair Of Running Shoes

A Quick Guide To Buying A Pair Of Running Shoes

A Quick Guide To Buying A Pair Of Running Shoes - There are many things to note when beginning to buy running shoes. If you decide on a shoe that isn't right for your foot, you possibly can suffer the consequences. Such things as shin splints, tendonitis, and plantar facilities are typically points that sometimes happens for those who donít where the best shoes. Basically, you set yourself up for injury.

Investing in a good running shoe is definitely an art. There are various different brands, it's not easy to find the one which is designed for you. This is the reason you will need to get in touch with experts that will help you throughout the process. However, it will be easy to find the best shoe for you on your own. We have found top tips on the way to buy running shoes. A Quick Guide To Buying A Pair Of Running Shoes.

What Form of Support?

One thing which needs to be considered when purchasing running shoes is the amount of support necessary for the shoe. And what you need relies on the unique needs of the foot and like you would run. Some folk has a superbly even footprint; others weigh heavily on either side on the foot. A Quick Guide To Buying A Pair Of Running Shoes. Determine what sort of print you have if you wish to figure out any type of shoe you can need. Manufacturers recognize that it affects everyone differently so most offer styles that will accommodate a variety of needs.

Consult Which has a Specialist.

A Quick Guide To Buying A Pair Of Running Shoes. It is best if you visit a specialty store in order to find out what variety of shoe will continue to work great for you. In addition, they know what kinds of shoes work great for your distinctive support needs, nevertheless they might also recommend a shoe that will work for your lifestyle. For instance, if you have to attempt a marathon inside the shoe and this will only be used to the race, you might need a much different shoe for those who are only a casual runner or maybe a trail runner.

Do Your Research

Prior to an attempt to the video store, research to assist locate the best shoe for your needs. Read product critiques of the latest models. Speak with people that run and who use particular shoes, and find out what prices can be expected when you go to a store. Resist the desire to purchase your first pair of shoes online. It is advisable to visit an outlet so you can try them on. Once you see a product and one that assists in you, you should buy other pairs online for less.

Make Sure They Fit

Another primary factor is to ensure your shoes fit. A number of people take various sizes since they are running than they do for everyday shoes. A Quick Guide To Buying A Pair Of Running Shoes. It is because the foot tends to grow, especially if running long distances. Ill fitting shoes can lead to injury and might also cause skin using your toe nails to bruise which can make the toenails to fall off. Searching out the right shoes is definitely essential for your health and enjoyment in the sport.

A Person's Shoes And His Character

A Person's Shoes And His Character

A Person's Shoes And His Character - Shoes are an important component of a person's attire today. People often judge a person on the type of shoes that he wears. This makes selection of shoes even a much more complicated issue. The main function of shoes is to provide cushion to the feet and protect them for injuries. However, in the present society, the shoes worn also need to be stylish.

People usually think that it is enough to wear good clothes and shoes are the last thing that anyone would look at. However, shoes are as important as any other part of your clothing. Irrespective of how good or attractive your clothes are, wearing shabby or worn out shoes can easily destroy your image. A Person's Shoes And His Character, This has been the main reason why shoes have also become a style symbol these days. Shoes are found today in different colors, designs and styles and made of different evolutionary materials. Different types of shoes are being released every day to cater to the needs of all groups and categories of people.

However, style cannot and should not replace comfort as the first priority while buying your shoes. Shoes are meant to provide comfort to your legs. There is no purpose in wearing stylish shoes if they don't fit properly and make you feel uneasy. The shoes should be selected depending on the person's unique foot features like -footed, pronators, or very high arches.

The main idea when purchasing shoes is that they should make you comfortable and pleasing to the eye at the same time. A Person's Shoes And His Character. When you have picked up a good looking shoe pair, see if it satisfies two conditions ñ it must suit the person's foot type and the exercise or activity he intends to take part in while wearing the shoe. For instance, motion controlled shoes can help in limiting the flat-footed person's inclination and provides greater control. A Person's Shoes And His Character, In case the person has foot conditions like pronation or supination, it is important for the shoe to provide the right cushioning and support. Light-weight shoes would be right for acrobats or professional runners.

A Person's Shoes And His Character. In order to check out the various models or shoes, visit a local shoe store or a mall. Talking to the sales person will give you an idea of which brands and models of shoes make you feel comfortable, suit your foot type and are also priced moderately. You can select a good looking pair from these models.

Thursday, July 13, 2017

A Guide On Buying Tennis Shoes

A Guide On Buying Tennis Shoes
A Guide On Buying Tennis Shoes

A good pair of quality tennis shoes is important for a good tennis match. Contrary to what most people think that sneakers will do for a game of tennis, this is not at all advisable. Tennis shoes are needed if you want to get the most out of every tennis game you play. The function that these tennis shoes provide is very important.

Tennis shoes have been specifically structured and designed to protect its wearer from possible injury and to provide support for the various tennis moves. They have also been designed to endure and hold up to the conditions that a typical tennis game may subject it to prolonging wear and tear. Your typical sneakers or running shoes merely provides the support needed for straightforward motion cushioning the heel that receives the most impact during running. Tennis shoes have also been designed for lateral movements as well to provide the stable support needed preventing injury and enabling quick and easy foot movements. Wearing other types of athletic shoes not only causes some damage to tennis courts but they also increase the chances of you contracting sprains and other injuries.

When buying tennis shoes, there are several considerations. You need to consider the tennis court surface that you primarily play in for this will determine the type of tennis shoes needed. It is also important to consider your feet's specific characteristics and requirements to ensure comfort and fit. Well, other considerations include your preference of style and color.

For players who play on hard surfaces, select tennis shoes that are long lasting and durable. The tread on the soles of your tennis shoes will wear off with repeated play on hard courts which can lessen traction and increase your risk of slipping when playing. The shoe area outside your toe should be covered with additional protection on the outside as most players have the tendency to drag their toes when executing their tennis moves most especially when serving. The added protection helps prevent the early wear and tear on the tennis shoe.

Choose tennis shoes that are comfortable, cushioned and fits accordingly especially for players who are likely prone to having blisters. Most tennis shoes are equipped with the latest when it comes to shoe technology providing cushioning systems and other important shoe features.

With regards to the style and the color, basically these will all depend on your preference. When you have chosen a particular pair of tennis shoes to suit your requirements just make sure that like buying any other type of shoes provide an allowance of about half an inch from your toes to the end of the shoe to give your toes some room for movement.

10 Tips To Shopping For The Perfect Athletic Shoes

10 Tips To Shopping For The Perfect Athletic Shoes
10 Tips To Shopping For The Perfect Athletic Shoes

If you are active in exercising, hiking, sports or any other type of physical activity that requires you to be on your feet often, athletic shoes are a must.  These shoes are designed for comfort and support, durability and promise to withstand plenty of use.  With a few simple tips, you will be ready to shop for athletic shoes and will soon be stepping out with confidence.

Comfort.  The first thing to consider with any footwear, including athletic shoes, is comfort.  If a shoe isnít comfortable, there is no use in wearing it.  Blisters, balance problems and overall discomfort are the result of poorly fitting shoes.

Affordability.  Just because you are looking for a new pair of athletic shoes, thereís no reason to empty the bank account in doing so.  Quality athletic shoes can be comfortable and affordable at the same time.  By shopping around and comparing prices, you will find the perfect athletic shoes at the perfect price.

Durability.  A good pair of shoes must be durable and able to withstand various weather conditions, including rain.  The worst thing to have in a rain storm is leaky shoes, which is why durability is part of a quality pair of athletic shoes.

Design.  Everyone wants a shoe that looks good, which is why design is very important.  In selecting a color scheme that suits your taste and lifestyle, you will not only feel good in your new athletic shoes, but you will look good too.

Versatility.  One of the most important factors of shoe selection is versatility.  Will the shoes work with your daily exercise regimen and look equally snazzy with your favorite pair of jeans?  Athletic shoes are a terrific compliment to blue jeans for a classic look.

Support.  Every good athletic shoe has support.  It should cradle the foot and make it feel as if every step is one of leisure.  Support is very important, especially if you are involved in a lot of walking or running.  In either of these instances, your feet really take a pounding on the pavement.  Athletic shoes that feature support are noticeable immediately during wear.

Know what you are buying.  Always purchase from a reputable, authorized athletic shoe retailer.  There are a lot of imitation products out there, including clothing and footwear.  Buying from an authorized retailer will eliminate the chances of buying fake merchandise.

Try before you buy.  If you are purchasing locally, go in and sample several pairs of athletic shoes.  Try them on, take a few steps and move your foot around inside the shoe.  In making sure that you have ease of movement and a proper fit, you will be much happier with your purchase.

Layaway.  Certain brands of athletic shoes can be expensive, which is why layaway is often a popular option for anyone who doesnít have quite enough cash to pay upfront.  Even if itís just to secure a purchase until payday, layaway programs offer customers with the opportunity to own the perfect pair of athletic shoes.

Make sure the shoe fits with your lifestyle.  Avoid purchasing anything that doesnít really fit your schedule.  Athletic shoes are designed to work with you and your level of activity.